The 1 does look girly plump, 1 slim, hard to say for the other 1. I'm leaning toward female too. The head standing thing, hmm, are they just looking for food? They will sometimes go head deep or more especially for live worms. I know you keep you water very clean, the split fin should head pretty fast.
Sand is inert, almost no CEC (cation exchange capacity). Even after 8 years in sand I still give my sword & crypts root tabs a few times a year. Not as often with other substrates, but I may be the world's worst fertilizer, lol. Swords need ~2 inches of substrate, they get large root masses. Maybe a java fern or 2 would be better in your tank than the sword, it may outgrow the tank, wait & see. Ferns are attached to wood or rocks like your anubias & don't need ferts.