I had 2 male apistos, hoping for a pair. The dominant larger male looked full color beautiful! The "lesser male" tried hard to look as female as he could; less colorful, more yellow-ish (but not like females get). The lesser avoided Mr. Big as best he could, duck & run!
Yes, apisto females tend to be more pushy & aggressive but also a LOT more yellow. Maybe borrellii are different? I think they are smaller than many apistos, I have not kept them. My larger male was treated as if he had no clue...because he didn't. But your male seems to understand how to display...& "she" has either picked a possible nesting place or is hiding from him or waiting until she's more ready. It might be time for some high protein live or frozen foods, that often gets everybody feeling "frisky". She should defend the nesting place from everyone until she's ready to lay eggs, she'll let him know when, or he may be sorry.
I forget, do you have corys in this tank? They don't really understand territories & can drive species like cichlids, some plecos & loaches etc. crazy trying to defend their chosen areas. Tetras & other schoolers will eat eggs if they can without a good guardian that keeps chasing them away, not quite as oblivious as corys. But everyone likes caviar!