As for sexing your fish, you may be out of luck there. I've yet to figure out which of my pair is which. I have 29g, with a bunch of lace rock, and a sand mixture I picked up at a LFS especially for use with rift lake cichlids. The only fish in the tank are two albino blue faced brichardi and two batches of fry. I started with three fish, but after a pair formed, they took care of the odd man out for me. The same was the case with my daffodil brichardi of a couple years back. Brichardi can be fickle fish, so give them their space, and don't get too carried away with lights or other fish in the tank, and they should breed for you well. The brichardi's as with most of the neolamps stay in family groups, which is the older siblings help to care for newer fry making them a wonderful fish to have in a tank all by themselves, and still having plenty to watch. HTH.
"J"